Heart Turned Inwards: The Lonely Gunman by Keleka & Shoshana
Part IV of the Heart Turned Inwards Series
by Keleka and Shoshana
Heart Turned Inwards: The Lonely Gunman
By Keleka & Shoshana
Email: [email protected] & [email protected]
Distribution: Gossamer okay. Anywhere else, please ask.
Rating: PG
Spoiler Warning: Requiem
Content Statement: MSR
Classification: VR
Keywords: MSR
Summary: The Lone Gunman comes to dinner.
Fourth in the 'Heart Turned Inwards' series. This one really won't make any sense if you haven't read the first three. They're all available on Ephemeral/Gossamer and at http://www.keleka.net/keleka/
Disclaimer: Get real! If we owned this cash cow,
do you really think we'd be writing fanfic?
Feedback: Always welcome in our houses!
Author's Note: Huge steaming piles of
thanks to our beta, Fabulous Monster, and the
gang at the I Want to Believe mailing list
for their group beta and advice.
All our fanfic can be found at our websites:
http://www.keleka.net/keleka/
and
http://members.tripod.com/shoshana1013/
Heart Turned Inwards 4: The Lonely Gunman
by Keleka & Shoshana
As he pulled his vehicle up to the curb in front of Dana Scully's house, John Byers wondered how often it had been said that 'one is the loneliest number'? More times than he cared to count, that's for sure. For over a decade, he had perceived himself as one of three. 'The Lone Gunmen.' Or, 'The Three Stooges,' as Dana Scully had always been fond of calling him, Frohike, and Langly. Raised to be a corporate man, he had never chafed at losing his individuality to the group. It had given him comfort to know that he belonged to a larger whole. He hadn't known that comfort for a long time.
This morning, when Byers's phone had rung for the first time in days, he felt, finally, that the 'oneness' of his life might finally be over. Mulder was back. Mulder and Scully were together again. Mulder and Scully and Andrew made three. Byers liked things that came in threes. The thought made him smile as he stepped out of his car and looked up at Dana Scully's townhouse. He opened the trunk and then flipped a switch on a small remote control he carried in his pocket. A steamer trunk levitated smoothly out of the trunk and moved to the sidewalk where it hovered patiently, waiting for him to tell it where to go next. Of all the technological advances he'd witnessed in the last thirty years, the 'Anti-Grav Porter' was far and away his favorite.
The steamer trunk floated calmly behind him as he slowly climbed the steps to Scully's front door. He was spry for his age, but his eyesight left something to be desired, and he was extra cautious on steps. It had been months since he had visited Scully's home and weeks since he had heard from her. Andrew called once a week like clockwork though, and occasionally he dropped by to visit. Other than Scully and Andrew, Byers really had no friends. He was truly the 'Lone Gunman' now. It made his heart sing to know that his old friend Mulder was back.
When the door opened, Scully greeted him with a smile and a hug. She was dressed attractively in an amethyst dress which cascaded around her ankles. Her trim figure still looked marvelous for her sixty-six years of age. Thrice weekly trips to the gym guaranteed she looked lovely still. She'd even had to refuse a few propositions from younger men at the health club. It seemed to Byers that he'd known Scully forever, but it wasn't until after Mulder disappeared that he had really gotten to know Dana Scully. He had quickly grown to understand how Mulder had fallen so head-over-heels in love with her, and why he had taken so long to tell her. She was one formidable woman.
"Where's the guest of honor?" Byers asked as he steered his levitating package into the house and into a corner of the living room.
"He went for a run. He'll be back shortly." Scully motioned him to join her into the kitchen while she finished preparing dinner.
"A run? Alone?" Byers was surprised. "Is that wise, at his age?"
Scully came to a quick stop and turned around. "I forgot to tell you, John. Remember what I told you once about Einstein's theory?" Byers nodded. "I was right."
Byers felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him. "Oh my God," he said. "Then...."
"He thinks he was gone only two days."
"Then he's...."
"Not much older than Andrew," Scully said, finishing his sentence and moving to the counter where she resumed making three salads. She hoped her own ambivalence toward the situation wasn't apparent.
"Jesus, Dana. Have they met yet?"
Scully laughed and threw a glance at Byers. "Andrew met him first. He was returned to the emergency room at Andrew's hospital. My theory is that they returned him there on purpose...because of Andrew. Very considerate of them, don't you think?"
Byers moved to the counter and stood beside Scully. He swiped a carrot stick from the pile she had cut and turned, leaning against the counter. He munched on the carrot stick absentmindedly.
"Does he remember anything?" he asked after a moment.
Scully put down her knife and wiped her hands. She look at Byers thoughtfully for a moment. "You know, I really don't know. I didn't want to press him. I didn't know what they'd done to him or whether he'd want to talk about it. So far...so far he hasn't said anything. He's been more concerned with learning what he's missed here on Earth."
"How's he taking it?"
Scully smiled and carried the three salads to the refrigerator. She stopped at the oven for a moment to check on the beef pot pie she was baking. When she opened the door, the escaping aroma made Byers's mouth water. He always was a sucker for Skinner's beef pot pie, and he knew Scully always used Skinner's recipe.
"So far...with a sense of humor," she said after she was satisfied with the pie's progress. "I think he has his moments of melancholy, but he's holding up well. He's actually quite psyched about meeting his grandchildren tomorrow."
Byers couldn't suppress a laugh. "Mulder a grandfather. That had to be a shock for him."
"I think he was more shocked by the names Andrew and Becky gave his grandsons."
Byers smiled, but then his eyes turned serious. "Does he know about...you and Walter?"
Scully looked away for a moment. "Yes. He knows."
"And?"
"He knows what?" came Mulder's voice from the door. Sweat trickled down his broad chest, weaving through his sparse, mahogany-colored hair, as he wiped himself down with a towel. He still had the same healthy color he'd had the day he disappeared, and the sight of him perspiring and breathing heavily from his run was enough to bring a blush to Scully's cheeks. Seeing him like this brought to the surface some long-buried memories and desires.
"Mulder...." Before Byers could continue, he felt the long nurtured sadness bubble up inside him. He felt his throat clench and the tears begin as he was helpless to stop them. Scully tenderly patted him on the back and made soothing noises. Mulder hesitated for a moment, briefly overwhelmed by his friend's outpouring of emotion.
Mulder took tentative steps toward Byers. He looked just as Mulder imagined he would look. The same, just older. Frailer, perhaps, but with the same perfect posture; his hair and beard now turned a distinguished gray. Scully smiled at Mulder and stepped away. Mulder slipped his arms around Byers and pulled him close.
"It's okay, John. I'm back now."
Byers struggled for a moment to control himself. "It's been so long, Mulder," he blurted out. "So much has happened."
"I know, John. It's okay." Mulder glanced at Scully who looked like she was about to cry herself. He was just beginning to realize how much the last thirty years had affected the people who were closest to him. Byers was one of the strongest, most determined people Mulder'd ever known, and yet somehow he seemed so much more vulnerable now, just as Scully had earlier.
After a few moments, Mulder could feel Byers calming. He pulled back and smiled. "Better now?" he asked.
Byers nodded. "I'm sorry. I'm just so glad to see you, Mulder."
"Let me go catch a shower and I'll be right back," Mulder said. He gave Scully a quick kiss on the cheek and left to go upstairs.
"Andrew's the spitting image of him," Byers said after a moment.
"I know. They look like they could be brothers. Doesn't say much for Scully genes, does it? The only thing Andrew got from me was blue eyes."
Byers put his arms around Scully and hugged her tightly. "Don't underestimate your contribution, Dana," he said softly. "Andrew may look like Mulder, but he's got your personality and temperament."
Scully pulled away, laughing. "My temperament? Is that your way of saying he's a hot-headed Irishman?"
Byers chuckled softly. He pulled back, looking at her intently. "Are you....is he...going to live here with you?"
Scully averted her eyes and turned back to the counter. She smiled at Byers's tactful question as cleaned up the discarded carrot skins on the counter. After a moment she nodded. "He says he is," she said softly.
Byers studied her for a moment. "Do you want him to?" Byers prodded gently.
Scully carefully wiped her hands dry on her apron before removing it. She looked at Byers briefly, her expression blank, her eyes betraying nothing. She lifted a pile of dinner plates and silverware and turned to carry them to the dining room. Gently, Byers placed his hand on her arm, stopping her.
"He's been gone a long time, Dana," he said, barely above a whisper. "It's understandable to be confused." She smiled and nodded her head toward some glasses and coffee cups.
"Help me set the table, John."
*
"Damn, Scully. When did you learn to cook like this?" Mulder wiped his mouth with his napkin before helping himself to a second serving of pot pie.
Scully glanced briefly at Byers with a wry smile. "Walter taught me," she said softly. "He was an excellent cook. This was his recipe."
Mulder snorted. "The Big Guy could cook? You've got to be kidding."
"There were a lot of things we didn't know about him," she said. "He was full of surprises."
Mulder looked thoughtfully at Scully for a moment, sensing that she'd like to tell him more about the man who helped her raise his son. He glanced quickly at Byers. "Surprise me," he said after a moment.
Mulder listened quietly as Scully told him some of the things Skinner had done for her and Andrew over the years. He lowered his eyes and felt his throat constrict. He was quiet a moment, then cleared his throat before looking up. "He took good care of my family for me," he said softly.
Scully reached for Mulder's hand and squeezed it gently. "He loved us, Mulder. You, me, and Andrew. We were his family too."
When they finished eating, Scully scooted the two men into the living room while she cleared the dishes. Byers laughed at Mulder's expression when he saw the box Byers had brought with him rise from the floor, float gently over to the sofa, and set itself down quietly at their feet. For several minutes Mulder amused himself by using the remote control to levitate the box around the living room. Scully came in carrying a tray with three mugs of hot coffee.
"You knock anything over with that, Mulder, and you're in big trouble," she said when she saw the box floating perilously close to an antique lamp. She set the tray on the coffee table and took a seat on Byers's other side.
"You never let me have any fun, Scully" he whined, sticking out his lower lip in an exaggerated pout. He handed the remote control back to Byers who returned the box to the floor at his feet. "So what'd you bring, John?" Mulder asked, taking a mug from the tray and sitting back on the sofa.
Slowly Byers pulled open the box, pulling things out and stacking them on the coffee table. There were several thick albums, and a smaller box containing several dozen computer disks.
"Frohike left this box for you, Mulder," Byers said when he was finished, his voice breaking slightly when he spoke. "He wanted me to give these to you if you ever came back."
Mulder looked thoughtfully at the books and disks but didn't reach for them. "Tell me what happened to Frohike, John."
Byers leaned back in the sofa, his hands clasped tightly in his lap. He lifted his eyes to look at Scully. She smiled encouragingly.
"He took his own life three years ago, Mulder," Byers said in a low, composed voice. "He was dying from heart disease. He couldn't stand it anymore...the pain, the helplessness. I came home one night and found him. He had shot--" he stopped, unable to say the words outloud. He shook his head regretfully. Scully reached for Byers's hand and squeezed it gently.
"I'm so sorry, John," Mulder said, his voice a velvety mumble, his eyes darkening with pain. He imagined how horrible it must have been like for Byers to come home and find Frohike like that. He knew it would have shaken him, and he was far more inured to violent death. "What about Langly?" he asked after a moment.
"Oh, God, Mulder...." Byers blurted, his voice aching with grief. Byers didn't continue and Mulder looked to Scully.
She took a deep breath and looked to Byers before she began. He nodded slightly, letting her know she could go on. "About ten years ago Langly was diagnosed as schizophrenic. The decline was so gradual...I should have realized sooner...maybe we could have helped him if I had." She blinked back tears, remembering how clear Langly's symptoms had seemed in retrospect, yet how blind she had been to them until it was too late. "His paranoia grew so strong that eventually he didn't even trust us. One day he disappeared and we've never been able to find him. It's been nearly six years."
The silence weighed heavily on Mulder. The years had taken their toll on his friends, and he regretted not being there for them. He once believed the world would be a better place without him; that his friends wouldn't have suffered the indignities they had if not for him and his quest. Now, though, after seeing what had happened to so many of his friends, he couldn't help but think he might have helped make their lives better had he been here. He reached for one of the albums Byers had removed from the box.
"What are these, John?" he asked.
The change of subject helped Byers regain control of his emotions. "Photo albums," he said after a moment. "Frohike made it his mission to document Andrew's life in case you ever returned."
Mulder opened one of the albums and began to flip through it. There were several hundred pictures in each album, pictures of Andrew as an infant, toddler, and young boy. There were pictures of Andrew in a Boy Scout uniform, playing baseball, at high school graduation. Frohike had truly documented the young man's life in glorious detail. As he paged through the albums, he occasionally asked questions and enjoyed listening to Scully and Byers tell him about Andrew's exploits. Mulder felt himself rise and fall on waves of emotions as Scully and Byers told him about events in Andrew's life. His son's life. At times it seemed surreal and he had to remind himself that he had missed out on thirty years of life with Scully and Andrew. Scully seemed atuned to his emotional rollercoaster and knew just when to squeeze his hand supportively.
Finally, he spotted a group picture of Andrew, Scully, Skinner, the Gunmen, and a woman he didn't recognize. "What's this?" he asked, carefully removing the picture from the album and handing it to Scully.
Scully smiled gently. "That was at Andrew and Becky's wedding. It was just two years before Walter died. It's probably the only picture we have of the entire 'family.'" She handed the picture back to Mulder who studied it for several moments. For just an instant, he felt his emotions overwhelming him. Scully had used the word 'family,' and that felt so right. The only person missing was him. He set the picture aside. He would have it enlarged and framed.
"What about these?" he asked, pointing to the video disks Byers held.
"Video disks," Byers said. "Frohike video-taped several events and converted them to disks." He handed the small box to Mulder.
"Events?" Mulder asked. He pulled out the first disk and looked at the label. "'Andrew's birth,'" he read. It took a moment for it to sink in. He looked at Scully, his eyes wide. "You let Frohike videotape you giving birth?!"
Scully blushed and ducked her head. "Walter talked me into it," she said. "They both knew you'd want to see the big event if you ever came back."
"Let's watch it!" Mulder said enthusiastically. Now it was John Byers's turn to blush.
Scully snatched the disk out of Mulder's hands. "No way," she said, emphatically. "I've watched it with Walter, but no way is John seeing it."
Mulder laughed. "Okay, we'll save it for later." He handed the disk to Scully who set it aside for safe keeping. "What else you got?"
"How about little league games and Boy Scout events?" Byers asked, holding up a disk.
"That'll do," said Mulder.
Byers crossed to a panel in the wall and slid the disk into an open slot. Mulder marveled as a three dimensional picture appeared on the wall.
An hour later, Mulder nudged Scully and pointed to Byers who had fallen asleep.
"I think it's time for the old folk to turn in, Mulder," Scully said softly, standing and stretching. "Why don't you help John get to the guest room? You can stay up if you want, but I'm ready to turn in."
Mulder grinned. "I'll be right up."
*
Mulder washed his face, brushed his teeth and changed into the pajama bottoms Scully had left out for him. He turned off the bathroom light before leaving the room, stepping gingerly across Scully's bedroom to the edge of her bed. The only source of light now was the full moon outside the window, broken into one-inch slats by the venetian blinds.
Scully wasn't asleep yet--he could tell by the soft susurrous breaths she took as he climbed into bed beside her. Her heart rate seemed to increase in little increments the closer he got to her, the more thoroughly he wrapped his legs and arms around her. She didn't pull away, nor did she completely relax into his embrace.
Mulder gently pushed the collar of her silk pajamas aside with his lips, then paved a trail of sweet caresses from the nape of her neck to the tender spot just below her delicate ear. Her body tensed against his briefly, then relaxed with a soft satisfied sigh. She moved her neck a fraction of inch, allowing him better access to that spot he remembered so well.
"It's been so long, Mulder," she murmured.
"No more waiting, Scully. Well, at least to have you in my arms again, that is."
She pressed back against his strong, hard torso, telling him he could go further if he liked. Mulder tightened his grip around her, smoothing his hands over the curve of her hips, the softness of her belly. He pressed his nose into her silky hair, breathing deeply of her distinct, familiar perfume.
Mulder wedged his chin against her shoulder, leaning toward her ear so she could hear every word distinctly, "I want to make love to you, Scully. But not tonight. Tonight I just want us to enjoy the anticipation, to feel our bodies respond anew. I want to be unsated for just one more night, knowing what's in store for me tomorrow night."
"Are you sure?" Scully purred softly, arching her back against his chest.
She could feel him smile against her shoulder when he replied, "Very sure. Besides, when I make love to you I want us completely alone. I don't to share you with anyone else. I want to hear those noises you used to make--"
"Mulder!" she said, in mock disapproval.
"Byers is here tonight, Scully. But tomorrow night belongs to us--I'm going to make you come all night--"
She couldn't suppress schoolgirlish giggling as he continued with his lustful promises, "I'm going to pay heed to every square inch of your beautiful body, Scully. You deserve to be loved and loved well."
Mulder grabbed her shoulder and turned her around so he could see her ageless face in the moonlight. His tone was dead serious now as he told her what he'd been thinking all day, "I don't ever want you to suffer again, Scully. I won't let you be lonely again."
Tears slipped down her cheeks as she brought her hands to his beloved face. She hadn't gone a day for over thirty years without his face before her. She hadn't fallen asleep for one night since he disappeared without wondering where he was or what had been his ultimate fate.
"I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad you weren't the one left behind, Mulder--because I don't know if you would have taken it well." She sniffled, wiping the moisture from under her eyes. "If it had been you--in my place--"
Mulder swooped in to kiss her soundly, then pulled back to meet her liquid eyes. "I would have waited for you. I wouldn't have given up hope."
"Yet I did," she answered shamefacedly, her voice cracked and worn.
Mulder shook his head emphatically, denying her these words.
"No, no. You didn't give up. You did the best you could. You waited so long, Scully. I love you so much for that. I'm so sorry you had to raise Andrew without me. I'm so sorry I wasn't around for your pregnancy, for all those moments when our boy was growing up."
Scully caressed his cheek tenderly, then wove her hand through his thick, dark hair. "I had help. I had Walter. I had our wonderful friends, all of them."
"And you still have Byers, Scully. I'm so happy he's still alive for me. I'm so happy you had a family, friends, to keep you from leading a lonely, isolated life. And now, now I can get to know my son, get to play with my grandchildren. I'm so excited about that--I don't know how I'll be able to sleep tonight. I always wanted children, you know that. But only if they were your children, Scully. Only you."
Mulder gathered her close to him again before she could say another word. He laid flat on his back, then pulled her light weight over him like a warm blanket of Scullyflesh. She nuzzled her face down into his Ivory scented skin.
She hummed a tuneless song against him, exhausted beyond words by the events of the last few days, the passion of the last few moments. He stroked her satiny hair, muttering soft words of comfort and love until he knew she was truly at rest.
Mulder smiled in the darkness, listening to her even respirations against his chest. Tomorrow there was something important he needed to do. And, he would meet his grandchildren. He couldn't wait.
*end*
Continued in Heart Turned Inwards V: Reunited