Heart Turned Inwards: Reunited by Keleka & Shoshana
Part V of the Heart Turned Inwards Series
by Keleka and Shoshana
Heart Turned Inwards 5: Reunited
By Keleka & Shoshana
Email: [email protected] & [email protected]
Distribution: Gossamer okay. Anywhere else, please ask.
Rating: NC-17
Spoiler Warning: Requiem
Content Statement: MSR
Classification: VRA
Keywords: MSR
Summary: Mulder has a busy morning.
Fifth in the 'Heart Turned Inwards' series. This one really won't make any sense if you haven't read the first four. They're all available on Ephemeral/Gossamer and at http://www.keleka.net/keleka/
Disclaimer: Get real! If we owned this cash cow,
do you really think we'd be writing fanfic?
Feedback: Always welcome in our houses!
Author's Note: Huge steaming piles of
thanks to our beta, Fabulous Monster.
All our fanfic can be found at our websites:
http://www.keleka.net/keleka/
and
http://members.tripod.com/shoshana1013/
Heart Turned Inwards 5: Reunited
by Keleka & Shoshana
Mulder awoke to the soft beeping of his wrist watch alarm. He shut it off quickly and then lay very still, not wanting to wake Scully. After a few moments of listening to her steady breathing, he knew she was just as sound a sleeper as she had been thirty years ago.
Gently, Mulder disengaged his limbs from hers and pulled himself from the bed. It was 6:45 a.m. and he had a mission. He went down the hall to use the guest bathroom so the noise wouldn't wake Scully. After a quick shower, he pulled on his jeans and a clean t-shirt.
He paused for a moment at the door to the guest room, listening for any sign that Byers might be awake. He knew that Byers had been an early riser in his youth, and hoped that old habits died hard. He could see a faint light under the door and he heard the sound of mattress springs moving. He inched the door open and peeked in.
"Byers," Mulder said, whispering. "Are you awake?" He pushed the door open further and saw that Byers was sitting up in bed, reading a book.
"Come in, Mulder," Byers said, closing the book and laying it on the bed beside him. "What are you doing up so early?"
Mulder quietly closed the door behind him and moved to Byers's bedside.
"If you're up to it, John, there's someplace I need to go. I need you to take me."
Fifteen minutes later they were in Byers's car heading to their destination. Mulder watched the scenery pass by in silence, noticing the many changes over the years. Periodically, he could feel Byers's eyes on him. Finally he turned to look at Byers.
"What's on your mind, John?" he asked.
Byers looked at Mulder for a moment, his eyes full of questions. There were so many things he wanted to ask, he wasn't sure where to begin. Finally, he decided. "Do you remember what happened to you, Mulder?" he asked, gently, fearing that he was asking his friend to remember unspeakable horrors. "Dana said you haven't told her."
Mulder nodded and returned his gaze to the scenery passing by his window. "She hasn't asked."
Byers waited for Mulder to continue and was puzzled when he didn't. "Did they experiment on you," he probed gently. "Run tests?"
Mulder took a deep breath and let it out slowly. When he was on the alien ship, all he could think about was getting home to tell Scully about the wonders he had seen. But that was before he knew he was going to miss out on thirty years of life with her; before he knew he was going to miss the birth of his son, and the deaths of so many of his close friends. Now when he thought of his 'two days' aboard the alien spaceship, his heart filled with guilt and regret.
"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it," Byers said when Mulder didn't answer. "I'm sure it was a...difficult two days for you."
Mulder was quiet for a moment, struggling to find a way to explain it to Byers. He wasn't sure how much was known now about the aliens and their final abductions. For all he knew, the people of earth knew all about the visitors from another planet and the purpose of the abductions. He decided to probe a little to find out what Byers knew.
"John, what happened after I left? About colonization, I mean. Obviously it didn't happened."
Byers was puzzled by the question. "We spent years trying to find you, Mulder. A few months after you were taken...there was no more alien activity. At least, none that we could verify. It was as though they just disappeared. We never really knew why."
Mulder sighed. He was relieved to know the rebel aliens hadn't lied to him. "The faceless rebels won. The colonizing aliens were destroyed and the rebels seized control." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, barely noticing the passing landscape. "The rebels gathered up the humans whose minds had been altered so they could repair the damage. It was their way of righting the wrongs of the defeated aliens. I wasn't meant to be taken. The brain surgery I experienced had already removed the alien influences from my brain. When they realized I was among the group taken at Bellefleur, they treated me like royalty."
"I don't understand...." Byers said, frustrated that he couldn't concentrate on the conversation while driving. He pulled the car off the side of the highway and parked. He turned to face Mulder and noticed for the first time the stress lines on his face and the tears filling his eyes.
"While you all were living your lives, while my son was growing up, while my friends were dying...." Mulder's voice cracked, but he pulled himself together and continued. "While Scully was growing old, I was out joy-riding with the alien rebels."
"Joy-riding?"
"They took me to their home planet. We left the solar system. That's why we exceeded the speed of light." Mulder turned to stare out the window. "That's why thirty years passed on earth while only two days passed for me," he continued, his voice a painful rumble.
"Jesus, Mulder."
"I don't know how to tell Scully. I don't know that I even should."
"All the other people who were taken didn't remember anything." Byers remembered Skinner and Doggett's reports from interviewing the returned abductees. None of them remembered being abducted. None of them remembered seeing Mulder.
"I know. Their memories were erased. They let me keep mine. I'm to be an... ambassador of sorts for them when they return."
"They're returning?"
"Someday. When we're ready."
Byers waited for Mulder to turn back to face him. When he didn't, Byers put the car in drive and slowly merged back into the light highway traffic. His mind spun as he tried to determine what Mulder needed to hear. "You didn't do anything to feel guilty about, Mulder," he said finally, in a low, awkward voice.
"I abandoned Scully," Mulder said, still staring sightlessly out the car window. "I left her alone and pregnant. I let everyone down."
"You didn't abandon anyone, Mulder. You didn't even know Scully was pregnant. From your perspective you were gone only two days. You couldn't have known."
"Shit, Byers," Mulder said angrily. "I'm not stupid. I knew about Einstein's theory. I should have known. Exceed the speed of light...I should have known."
"From what you've told me, I don't know that you had any choice. Would they have released you if you asked?"
Mulder's spirits sank as he realized he'd never even asked to be released. His excitement at visiting an alien world had practically wiped from his mind all thought of the people he'd left behind. He felt like such a fool. The aliens could have told him that Einstein was right. They could have told him he would be a man out of his time when he returned to earth. If only he had asked. Now he had to live with the knowledge of what he'd lost and what his absence had cost Scully, his son, and his friends.
They traveled quietly for several minutes until they reached their destination. Byers drove through the brick gates and followed the signs to visitor parking. It was barely 8:00 a.m. and they were among the first few visitors to arrive. Mulder walked beside Byers as they made their way up the path to the Visitor's Center. He wasn't surprised by Byers's spryness. Byers had never abused drugs or alcohol like Frohike and Langly; he had taken good care of himself.
They bypassed the Visitor's Center and continued on the path to their ultimate destination. Byers didn't need directions. He had been here many times in the last five years. Mulder stopped to read a sign: 'Welcome to Arlington National cemetery | Our Nation's Most Sacred Shrine | Please Conduct Yourself with Dignity and Respect at All Times | Please Remember These Are Hallowed Grounds.'
Mulder felt a knot forming in his throat. "If anyone deserved to be buried here," he said, softly, "it was Walter Skinner."
Byers nodded and waited quietly while Mulder grappled with his emotions. He understood. Arlington National cemetery has this effect on people. He and Scully had been coming here regularly for five years and it was still an emotional experience.
"Frohike could have been buried here too," Byers said after a moment. "He was a Marine, like Skinner. He did a tour in Vietnam a few years before Walter was there. They didn't talk about it much, at least not to me." He swallowed hard and bit back tears. "They became very close."
Mulder turned and placed a hand on Byers's shoulder. "Where is Frohike?" he asked softly as he gently squeezed Byers's shoulder.
Byers's smile was bittersweet. He looked up at the sky and then at Mulder. "He's up there," he said. "His ashes are out there, somewhere. In space."
"You can do that now?" he asked incredulously.
"We can do that now," Byers said. "Ironic, isn't it? He was up there with you and you didn't even know it." They shared a smile before resuming their walk.
Mulder felt a tingle of excitement as they passed by Abner Doubleday's grave. During happier times, his father often told him the story of Doubleday and how the man once believed to be the inventor of baseball was also a Civil War hero. He smiled to himself at the memory.
"You know, Mulder," Byers said, as if reading his mind, "Skinner really hated baseball."
"Hated it? But what about all those pictures?" Mulder asked in bewilderment. "He took Andrew to Orioles games and went to his Little League games. Scully told me he even coached Andrew's team for a couple years."
"He did it because he knew you loved baseball and would want Andrew to love it too. He did it for you."
"One more thing I owe him," Mulder mumbled. He gathered his thoughts as they continued their walk. He remembered the trips he had made to his mother and father's graves. He'd gone so far to visit them, and yet when he arrived, he had nothing to say. Now he had so much to say, he didn't know where to begin. How do you thank a man who spent his life taking care of your family? He was still lost in his thoughts when Byers grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop.
"This is it, Mulder," Byers said, gently. He nodded toward a small, marble headstone.
'Walter S. Skinner | U.S.M.C. | 1952-2025 | Vietnam | Deputy Director, FBI'
"Not enough words to sum up the life of a man like Skinner," Mulder said.
Byers nodded. "The cemetery doesn't allow much more than that."
"Can you give me a few minutes, John?" Mulder asked. Byers nodded and walked away to give Mulder privacy.
Mulder faced the grave and let his thoughts roam free. He remembered all the times he and Skinner fought, usually over his more inprovident actions. He remembered how Skinner risked his career and his life by dealing with Cancerman for a cure for Scully's cancer. He remembered Scully telling him how Skinner placed his life in her hands when Krycek's nanobots were killing him...and he suddenly realized that Skinner was in love with Scully long before he had been abducted. He found the thought unnerving. One one hand, he was comforted that Scully spent her life with a man who stayed with her, not out of a sense of obligation or guilt, but of love. She deserved that. But, he still felt a pang of jealousy.
"You can't eat your cake and have it, too," he muttered to himself. He gave himself a mental shake and began absently tracing in his mind the engraving on Skinner's tombstone.
"I don't know whether you can hear me, Walter," he began awkwardly. "I've never been much of a believer in the afterlife." He chuckled softly. "Seems I can believe just about anything except the possibility of a benevolent deity and the existence of heaven." A feeling of warmth rose in his chest and spread like a wave throughout his body, making him tingle pleasantly all over. Was this Skinner, he wondered, giving him a sign that he was here? Or was it his imagination running away with him? Whatever it was, it made his eyes fill with tears as he fought to get his thoughts together.
"I just wanted to thank you for everything you did for me while I was gone. For taking care of Scully and Andrew, and for helping make Andrew the man he is. I'm sorry I wasn't here, but if there had to be another man in Scully's life...I'm glad it was you." He bowed his head and stood quietly. He could hear the faint sound of taps off in the distance as someone was laid to rest in another part of the cemetery.
Mulder didn't know how much time had passed when he felt someone touch his arm.
"Are you okay, Mulder?" Byers asked, his eyes full of concern.
Mulder turned to look at Byers, the tears that filled his eyes earlier replaced by a look of peace. "I am now." He smiled and put his arm around Byers. "Let's go home, John."
* * * * *
Mulder stealthily inched his borrowed key into the front door lock, not wishing to rouse Scully a moment earlier than need be. He had slipped the spare off of the set hanging near the foyer, this being the first time he'd left her company for more than a jog around the block. He wanted to keep that key; he wouldn't give it back willingly.
It said a lot about his state of mind that he still feared Scully would reject his proposal to live with her. A few short days and some passionate embraces didn't seal the deal for him. He wanted more than that--his clothes in her closet, his shoes underneath the bed. Permanently.
He needed to get back to some semblance of his old life, to start working at something again. A world of possibilities lay ahead for him, even in this radically changed world of the future. He could try to work for the Bureau again, or teach, or go into private practice as a psychologist.
Getting himself declared alive and well would be an amusing exercise in bureaucratic red tape and updating all his credentials would take time. Mulder knew he could do all that in record time with Scully's help. She had just finished up an illustrious career at the FBI and was well respected in the medical community at large.
He hoped he wouldn't have to ask too much of her, that she would go along with any plan he had for the future. All possible prospects included her by his side, no matter where they took him. He was willing to curtail any amount of foolishness or wanderlust if it made her happy. Less than a week ago, at least as far as his memory was concerned, he had told her it all had to end sometime. Sometime had arrived thirty years ago for Scully. He would just have to catch up with her now.
Mulder's caution was unnecessary--Scully was already up and brewing fragrant coffee in the streamlined kitchen. He inhaled the comforting aromas of home, coffee, buttered toast, and her distinctive perfume. She turned around and smiled shyly at the sound of his rubber-soled footsteps.
"Hey," she said softly. "Where'd you go?"
Mulder returned her smile and wrapped his arms around her shoulders as she stirred cream into her coffee.
"Did you get my note?" he asked, dipping his mouth to kiss the tempting space between her collar and a royal case of bed head. He loved that she hadn't bothered to primp for him.
Scully chuckled at his question. "'Going out. Be back soon.' Uh, huh. I got your note."
"You forgot the part that said 'I love you, Scully,'" he crooned into her ear while disengaging her hands from her coffee cup and turning her around in his arms.
"Oh, that part--" she answered, welcoming his lips when he bent to meet them. She allowed a leisurely kiss, then pushed him gently away, still locked in his embrace. "So, where did you go?" she persisted.
Mulder allowed his eyes to sweep over her face, memorizing every inch of it as though this were his last opportunity to do so. Something inside of him constricted like an overly taut bowstring, creating a vivid, yet strangely apropos image of Cupid shooting straight for his heart. He blinked twice to rid himself of the visualization, not prepared to describe or explain its appearance to the woman in his arms.
"Mulder?" she asked, sensing his distraction.
He focused on her once more, shaking off his internal musings. He tilted his head slightly to one side and grinned back at her. "Sorry, Scully. Just got lost looking at you, I guess." He moved his hands to encompass her pretty face, and leaned in to kiss her.
"Mulder--" she protested as he swept his mouth over hers, effectively silencing her essentially weak objection.
They kissed with complete abandon now, Mulder dipping his body to meet her smaller one. Frustrated with their height difference, he managed to lift her to the counter with minimum effort and a few seconds between kisses. He stepped between her well-toned thighs, threading his fingers through her brilliant colored hair and sprinkling kisses from her forehead to her breastbone.
"Mulder!" she yelped, as he started to disrobe her.
He stopped and looked up at her like a puppy about to lose its favorite toy.
"Scully?" he responded with a involuntary whine.
She smiled broadly and reached out to smooth his bangs away from his eyes. "Hey, let's get out of this kitchen. I don't think I'm up to doing it on the counter."
Mulder stepped back, sheepishly releasing her. He hadn't given much thought to where and when to seduce her; he'd just plowed ahead without any forethought. He lowered his eyes to the floor between them.
"Scully, I'm, I'm so sorry. That was a bad idea."
Scully laughed softly and reached for his chin, forcing him to meet her eyes. "No, it's not a bad idea, Mulder. Just not the greatest location." She extended both hands to him, entwining her fingers with his own. She squeezed his larger hands firmly and continued, "Let's find someplace more comfortable."
Mulder smiled at her proposition, then brought their hands to his lips kissing her knuckles, one by one. He still felt a bit chastened for rushing her. "Sure?"
Scully smiled back. "Sure as I'll ever be."
Mulder leaned in and kissed her lips softly. "I'll tell you all about this morning later, okay?"
"Okay. I'm a patient woman. About some things," she pretended to grouse. "Now--"
"Help you down?" he said brightly.
"Sweep me off my feet, G-man."
* * * * *
The minute Mulder lowered Scully to the floor next to the bed he knew her mood had changed. She was no longer feisty and lighthearted. She was just plain scared. She stood close to him, her eyes focused on the floor, arms wrapped around her torso.
Without a word, he began to gently massage her stiffened shoulders, then her upper arms, on down to her forearms. He added a few kisses to the crown of her head and Scully gradually relaxed until he was massaging each of her hands individually. He raised each one to his lips and kissed each finger individually, taking all the time they needed.
Mulder understood. He could only guess how long it had been since she'd made love to anyone. He knew that person had to have been Walter Skinner and he tamped down an ugly bit of jealousy racing through his mind. If he'd been there for Scully, she would never have needed Skinner, he told himself.
Mulder should be grateful she had a little happiness in her life while he was off in a spaceship somewhere. Not to mention the way Skinner had helped her raise Andrew. His old boss had never imposed upon her, never insisted they get married. He had nothing but respect for both of their actions. Thirty years was a long time to wait for your lover to return.
"Thank you," she said softly, weaving her arms around him, then laying her red mane against his chest.
He smoothed the length of her hair with firm downward strokes, kissing the top of her head tenderly. "No problem, Scully." His throat was constricted with such joy he didn't know how he continued breathing. Had he always had a lump there that big?
They stood silently for a few minutes, their hands wandering, rediscovering little nooks and crannies they'd forgotten. For Mulder it had been less than a week, his familiarity with her body hadn't left his consciousness the whole time he was held captive. He was discovering differences however, little ones that told a story of a life well-spent raising a child, and actively pursuing her career as an agent.
She was rounder and curvier in certain places, probably from her one pregnancy. She'd kept her hourglass figure though; he guessed from working out at the gym. He started to kiss her forehead, then her brows and lashes, working his way down the bridge of her nose. She giggled when he got to the end and kissed it.
Smiling against her lips, he breathed softly against them, then licked them softly with his tongue. She responded with her own gentle caresses and soon they were sharing a deep kiss, passionate but a little restrained. It was a slow steady dance for both of them, each calling upon the memory of their last time together, thirty years ago.
Scully felt her body weakening with desire for Mulder. She'd never expected to see him again, much less make love to him. She had enjoyed her arrangement with Walter, but it had never been the same as with Mulder. She and Skinner had been friends, not soul mates. It had been comforting and a little bit of happiness for her before he'd left the world too soon. She knew Skinner loved her in a way she could only try and return. He accepted whatever she was able to give and they'd been happy for awhile. His death had been difficult for her and she had given up any hope of having a man in her life again.
Now here was Mulder, back from the dead, back from whatever star he had visited for thirty long years. She didn't want to question him about that yet. She just wanted to live in the moment, to enjoy the long length of his body pressed against her own.
She leaned heavily against him, her legs finally giving out. She was in good shape but emotions were overwhelming her, forcing her to depend on his strength and stamina.
"Want to sit down?" he asked as she slumped against his chest.
"Mmm hmm," she answered in a sexy rumble that sent a jolt through his system.
"Come on, Scully. Let's get comfortable," he told her, bringing her along as he lay crosswise on the bed.
She lay on her back and he moved beside her, propping himself up on one elbow. He used his other hand to straighten her bangs, then caress her cheek lightly as they stared at one another for a long minute.
"You're still so beautiful, Scully. You know that, don't you?"
She closed her eyes and licked the side of her mouth nervously before grabbing his hand and bringing it to her lips. When she reopened her eyes, they were brimming with tears of joy, and she told him, "I love you, Mulder. I never stopped loving you."
"I know," he responded, inching over to kiss her glossy lips.
Mulder kissed and kissed her in a somewhat awkward position before rolling them both over. He landed on his back, gently pulling her over him like a blanket. She could take the initiative this way, he thought. He had always liked that and he knew she did too.
Scully was true to their experience with one another, moving up his torso, cupping his head in her hands as she planted loving kiss after kiss on his full mouth. He ran his hands up and down her spinal column, then gradually worked on dispensing with her robe. It fell off her easily and she moved it to the side of the bed in one motion. She climbed higher on his still clothed chest and lowered her nipples to his face, gasping as he graced them with equal lascivious attention.
It was so good, so very good to have him in her arms again. She rubbed her sex against him, still clothed in soft blue jeans. She felt him, heard him, groan against her as she moved against the bulge in his pants. He hadn't stopped paying attention to her breasts, using both his lips and tongue to make her so wet and so ready for him.
"You're so wet," he mumbled without thinking when he stopped to gaze at her for a second.
Scully froze in the position she found herself in, straddling his thighs. She looked at him with wide eyes and astonishment. "What did you expect?" she asked a little tartly. "Old and dry?"
Mulder's hand fell to his sides and his face showed his immediate distress. "Um, um, oh shit. Scully, that didn't come out right. It wasn't a comment--oh God, you know I'm a stupid bastard sometimes--" he stammered.
Scully blushed with embarrassment. Why had she assumed he was a making a crack about her age? She reached for his hand and brought it to her mouth for a sweet kiss before answering, "You're not stupid, Mulder. I'm sorry. I snapped at you."
Mulder raised his free hand and caressed her cheek softly. "Let me finish, Scully. I wasn't thinking about your age. I'm barely conscious of it anymore. That remark--that's something I'd say anyway. I was always amazed how aroused you'd get for me. Please tell me you believe that," he pleaded.
"Yes, yes. I do." She smiled sheepishly at her lover. "It just-- it's been almost seven years, Mulder... since I've made love to anyone."
"Really?" he asked, a little stunned by the revelation. He knew Skinner passed away five years ago. What had happened between them?
"Really. Skinner was very ill for almost two years before he died. Sex was not a priority, not something I even thought about except in an occasional daydream. My life revolved around making him comfortable in his last days."
"Oh, Scully. I'm so sorry." He kissed her hand tenderly and pulled her down against his chest. "I couldn't have known. And I'm still sorry if my remark hurt you. It was never on my mind you might--"
Mulder couldn't finish his sentence. This was too sensitive a subject and he didn't know how to approach it. Luckily, Scully did.
Speaking against his chest in dulcet tones she explained, "Mulder, It's 2030. There have been a lot of advances in hormone therapy. Women don't have sexual dysfunction like they used to. I've been on the same hormones for years and I'm absolutely healthy and happy."
"I guess I needed Dr. Scully to explain it all," he crooned softly into her ear. He ran his hand through her sweat-streaked hair and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.
Scully chuckled softly and shifted position against him slowly. Mulder gasped when she rubbed against his erection with meaningful intent.
"Scully!" he cried out. "Jesus, woman!"
"I think we need to pick up where we left off," she whispered.
Using his hips for leverage she pulled herself to a sitting position across his thighs. Mulder stared at her with a silly lovesick expression, melting her inside. She giggled softly and pulled at the zipper on his pants, easing it halfway down. Mulder laughed when he realized just how far behind he still was in the clothing category. They managed to pull his jeans and boxers off in one fell swoop and were both glad he'd already shed his shoes in the kitchen.
Mulder struggled with his tee shirt, and with her, as she pushed him backward on the bed. Her mouth was on him before he'd stripped off the cotton garment and his hips bucked against her involuntarily.
"God! Scully!" he cried out.
Scully steadied his hips with her deft hands, and continued stroking him with her lips and tongue, bringing him so close he had to put a stop to it. He reached down and gently nudged her away, his eyes sparkling with love and lust for this beautiful woman.
She lifted her head and smiled with delight. "Too much?"
"For now," he rasped out. "Come up here, Scully. I want to kiss you properly."
She scrambled up his body, sliding her breasts and body across his erection. She cupped the back of his head and pulled his face close for a long heated kiss, tongues imitating what their bodies would shortly do. He let his hands wander, smoothing his hands over her lovely skin, her firm behind.
They both gasped with pleasure as she let go of his face and detoured backward, opening her legs wide so her clit would rub against his hardness. She traversed the length of him over and over again as Mulder used long arms to massage her bouncing breasts and tease her nipples. He finally lost patience with the constant tease and gently stopped her.
"Now," he pleaded as he grabbed her by the hips.
Scully grinned and surprised him when she rolled over on her back and pulled him toward her. She didn't have to say another word, he knew what she wanted. He moved between her legs, sliding slowly inside her while she wrapped her legs around his powerful thighs. Using his hands and elbows to balance above her he thrust all the way inside until his face met hers in a rough but powerful kiss.
They moved against one another in a constant rhythm they'd both established so many years ago. She'd never forgotten, he knew too well how to please her from recent memory. She broke off their fervent kisses and nestled her face against his neck, urging him on, telling him to go harder and faster now.
Her fingernails dug into the skin of his upper back but the pleasure overwhelmed the pain now as he drove into her constantly, holding back until he could feel her come. She squealed with rapture as he hit just the right spot over and over and her orgasm washed over her and tightened her around his engorged penis.
"God, Oh God, Mulder, come for me. Come with me," she called to him.
"Look at me, Scully," he entreated, luring her face away from shoulder and back to his own. "Love you, Scully," he exclaimed, letting loose when he could see the loving expression in her beautiful blue eyes. "Love you, Scully," he repeated as his hips made a final jerky movement against her.
He tried to balance on his elbows, tried not to crush her, but he was having little luck at it. He was more exhausted from the last few days than he had admitted to anyone, including himself, and he couldn't stay balanced. She was urging him to stay with soft words and strong hands but he couldn't--he slipped out of her and pulled her slight figure onto his chest instead. She was warm and wet and slippery and he loved her more than he could tell her.
Scully sighed, sublimely satisfied for the first time in years. It had been years since Walter had passed on, and he had been her only other lover since she'd fallen in love with Mulder. They'd had a cozy relationship, a nice relationship. Not like this however. Not with the passion and force of Mulder's personality. He was like no one she'd ever known--a unique combination of character and personal attributes she'd feared she'd lost forever. She'd come to believe in recent years that the only way she and Mulder would be reunited would be in the afterlife-- a vision of heaven he probably didn't believe in. She'd just hoped she believed enough for both of them.
"Hey," the subject of her wandering thoughts finally said.
"Hey, back at ya," she replied, smiling against his chest and tightening her arms around his broad shoulders.
"Was it good for you?" Mulder quipped.
Scully heard the strain in his voice, perhaps a little insecurity concerning his place in her life, then and now. She decided to reassure him the best way she knew how, with a cogent argument.
"As good as it ever was. Maybe better than that, Mulder." She lifted her head a little so he could see the mischievous gleam in her eyes. "We can always keep putting you to test, you know."
He gaped back with a sex-stupefied expression she was extremely grateful she'd lived long enough to see again. In the flesh, not just beyond the gates of heaven. Though that would be nice too, she thought. This is about as close to heaven on earth as I'm going to get.
"What's that? Heaven on earth, Scully?"
Scully felt her post-coital blush deepen when she realized she'd spoken her thoughts aloud. She turned her head the other way, hiding coyly from his view. Mulder laughed at her affectionately and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. One hand caressed her face, urging her to turn around and meet his gaze again.
When she did, he saw incipient tears forming and he panicked, uncertain whether he'd hurt her feelings or not.
"You okay, Scully? I didn't mean to tease you," he said as he wiped his thumb under her eye. A few droplets had fallen of their own accord and he continued to swipe at them as a smile bloomed on her face.
"I'm okay, Mulder. I'm--I--never thought you'd be back--and now--"
"Always, Scully. We'll always have this. I'm just sorry I wasn't back sooner. I'm sorry I couldn't take care of you better."
She stroked his face with her fingertips and answered, "It's the luck of the draw, Mulder. At least we won one hand." She flashed him a brief smile, and let her fingers stray through his thick dark hair, straightening sweaty tendrils. "Tell me where you went this morning. What did you and Byers do?"
Mulder smiled sadly and fidgeted with her hair, tidying it behind her ear. "We went over to Arlington, Scully. I'm sorry I just didn't tell you in the note but--"
"You thought I might get upset?" she interrupted.
"Yeah, maybe a little. I guess I didn't want you to follow us out there. I hope you don't mind."
She shook her head slightly and he could see the bittersweetness of the moment reflected in her eyes. "No, no. I'm happy you went there. Just sad he's not here to see you in the flesh. So to speak," she grinned, rubbing his bare shoulder with one hand.
Mulder grinned back. "I wanted to say goodbye to him, Scully. You know how I feel about religion, about counting on an afterlife--I guess you might not, I've never really told you. But I can tell you this now, Scully--I could feel something when we were there. Especially when Byers went off by himself for a few minutes. I think he needed to say goodbye to me as much as I needed to thank him for taking care of you all these years."
Scully fought hard to suppress a flash flood of teardrops with little success. She knew the complicated yet affectionate bond between Mulder and Skinner would have lasted for many years--if only Mulder had been around. Skinner had borne the guilt of losing his friend for years after his abduction. He'd tried to do penance by doing everything he could to make Scully and Andrew happy and comfortable throughout their lives.
He'd never demanded anything from her, never once acted like anything but a gentleman. She'd been the one to initiate their sexual relationship, and then only after years and wishing and waiting for Mulder's return. Skinner had been good for her and she had loved him in her own way but she'd never given up hope, never forgotten Mulder was out there, somewhere. Maybe one could only have one true love. Maybe she was doubly blessed for having known both these men.
"Ah, don't cry, Scully," he crooned softly.
He found it impossible to follow his own sage advice, tears streaming down his cheeks. Mulder gently wiped the tears from her face with the tips of his fingers, then he pulled her closer, close enough to kiss the salt away.
Scully choked on a sob, trying to speak again, "I'm not sad, Mulder. I'm so glad you felt a connection to him, even now. He regretted losing you until the day he died. He sacrificed a so-called 'normal' family life to live with us. I wasn't even involved with him for years, Mulder. He never expected anything of me. Never once. Damn, I don't mean to get like this!" she claimed, lifting herself from his chest so that she could straddle him comfortably. "Why don't we go get cleaned up? Take a shower?" She raised one auburn eyebrow as she put forth the question.
"Together?" he asked jovially.
"Yes, together!" she answered, swatting his nose with the tip of one finger. "How else? You've already gotten a good look at my decrepit old body."
Mulder laughed at her self-deprecating remark. She was hardly decrepit and barely looked her real age. She didn't look any older than movie stars he used to admire regularly in the tabloids, women over fifty like Sophia Loren. If he weren't already in love with her he'd still think she was gorgeous.
"What's it going to take to convince you how lovely you are?" he told her honestly. "You look great, Scully." He touched his hand to her cheek and continued, "I'm going to let you know that for the rest of your life."
Scully worried her lower lip, momentarily speechless. Her eyes conveyed the happiness he'd brought to her, just in a few short days. She caressed the hand that stroked her cheek and turned her head slowly to kiss his palm. A smile bloomed on her lips and she lowered herself back onto his chest, kissing the sparse hair there tenderly. She scootched a little farther north and met his lips in a sweet kiss that lasted for as long as they could manage without pausing for a hint of oxygen.
"How about that shower?" she finally said when they unlocked their lips.
"How about a bath?" he proposed.
"Not enough time for a good one. I have something I want you to see before we head over to Andrew's house. Not to mention we haven't had breakfast yet," she teased, poking her index finger at his chest.
"Who needs breakfast?" he countered, kissing her again, just for a moment. "Okay, let's go. I'm curious what you have for me to see now."
The relaxing shower Mulder craved was not to be. They had just enough time to lather each other up and enjoy washing each other's hair before the phone started ringing off the hook.
"Damn!" she exclaimed. "I forgot to set the machine last night. "I'm sorry, Mulder. Let me rinse my hair and catch that."
Scully just made it to the phone, towel clutched around her. Mulder was surprised someone would be so persistent and ring so many times. He wondered who needed Scully so urgently; the usual paranoid thoughts swam through his head and he had to remind himself this was a different time and place for both of them. They weren't being chased down by aliens or the Consortium anymore.
Mulder followed Scully into the bedroom after drying off. She was already halfway dressed and off the phone. He intended to slow her down.
"Hey," she protested when he approached her from behind and caressed her breasts through her satin bra. She turned her head slightly and advised him in her most persuasive voice, "We'll have plenty of time alone later, Mulder. I really need to eat before we go over Andrew's. They want to have an early barbeque around four and I don't think I can make it until then."
He dipped his chin to her shoulder and kissed her neck, "I know. I can't help getting fresh with you when you're dressed like that."
She turned around in his arms and looked up into his eyes, "Well, if you don't get some boxers on soon, I might have to get fresh with you." She smiled and stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek.
He released her slowly, then crossed the room to the dresser she had designated for him. Within minutes they were out in the kitchen, preparing breakfast together as though it were something they'd done every morning for years. Bagels, cream cheese and orange juice, and a pot of strong Kenyan coffee Mulder remembered her liking so well.
"So who called?" he finally asked her after they had everything on the table and were about to dig in.
"Someone from the Bureau. They wanted to confirm an appointment we have there tomorrow. I usually program the answering machine but I forgot to last night." She gave him a cross look. "You're shattering my routine, Mulder."
"Sorry," he apologized. He frowned even though he was sure she was putting him on.
Scully gave a ladylike snort as she continued to add cream to her coffee. "You don't know how good it feels to break that day-to-day routine, Mulder. It's not that I don't have plenty to do. I'm doing everything I thought I would do during retirement. It just hasn't been the same since Walter passed. I haven't had someone to talk to for over five years, someone who understood everything I'd been through."
Mulder put down his cup of coffee and took her free hand in his own. "You have me now, Scully. I'm not leaving again. I'm not going back to the Bureau unless I can work in DC. If they'll have me, that is."
"Ha! I think they might understand your predicament, Mulder. Science has advanced quite a bit since you were gone. They haven't broken the speed of light and spacecraft don't fly off to Alpha Centauri but I'm sure even the ordinary bureaucrats at Hoover will understand. And of course they're all my colleagues, so they better take my counsel and believe you are very much alive and well."
"Deputy Director when you retired, huh?" Mulder repeated the title, still in awe of her former position in the Bureau.
"Yep." She squeezed his hand firmly. "How I wished you had been there--" She shook her head and released his hand. "No use dwelling on that now. We're going to have a great time over at Andrew's. The kids are wonderful. Walter and Fox never stop running. What?"
Mulder cringed at the names of the twins, unable to disguise his perturbation. "I still can't believe they're named 'Walter' and 'Fox.'" He panicked when he saw her disappointment and scrambled to make amends, "I mean, it's not that bad. It just sounds odd to my ears right now."
She grinned at him and took a small bite of her bagel before answering. "It's okay. It didn't sound right to me at first. Andrew insisted on those names; to honor both you and Walter. I never had a chance to dissuade him."
"He seems like one hell of a good son, Scully," he said thoughtfully. "What does Becky do? How did they meet?"
"She's was physical therapist at the hospital Andy clerked at during med school. They hit it off right away and got married. Now she works part-time at Georgetown Memorial. I know you remember being there, don't you?"
Mulder chuffed a laugh. "Unfortunately, I do. Too many times but most recently in a padded room. 1999. So many years ago now. Andrew has been at Georgetown Medical Center since graduation?"
"He's been there since he finished his residency at Maryland two years ago."
"Probably a good thing they don't work together," he told her with a wink.
"Oh, yeah. I know how difficult that can be," she teased back.
Mulder's smile couldn't disguise the sudden and painful realization racing through him. Scully would never be his work partner again. They would never have another late night argument in their basement office. Nor sit all night on a stakeout. He wasn't sure he wanted to go back to the Bureau without her.
"Is something wrong, Mulder?" she asked when she spotted his fleeting grimace of regret.
He lowered his eyes to his uneaten breakfast and gave her a little shoulder shrug. "I'm not sure, Scully. Maybe I'll be able to talk about it later."
Scully conceded she wasn't going to get anything more out of him at the moment, glancing at the wall clock, "It's almost eleven, let's move over to the living room couch for the entertainment."
"Entertainment, huh? I thought that was what we were doing--"
"Mulder, not that kind of entertainment! Although Frohike did have a hand in producing this--it's strictly G rated!"
Mulder chuckled as he helped her moved their bagels and coffee to the sleek comfortable sofa.
"Frohike, huh? This better be good!"
"It's the best, Mulder. Just sit down and watch," she told him.
She sat close to his side, entwining the fingers of her left hand with his right one. To Mulder's amazement the screen on the wall opened at her command, switching to the channel and volume level she desired.
"Wow," he marvelled, "I'm never going to get used to that."
Scully laughed, "It does boggle the mind sometimes when you stop to think about it. Now--watch, Mulder. This is something special, just for you."
Mulder leaned over to kiss her still-flushed cheek, wondering how he'd gotten so very lucky thirty-seven years ago when Scully had strolled into his office.
The video started and Scully explained, "This was taken from videotape and processed to disk years ago. That's why it's a little fuzzy at times."
The setting was a hospital birthing room, Scully and Skinner the main participants. Mulder's throat swelled with grief at a glimpse of his old friend. He felt no jealousy when confronted with the tableau before him, Scully in sitting up in the institutional bed, Skinner beside her.
Scully was clearly uncomfortable, sweaty, anxious and panting furiously. Skinner was helping her by counting to ten, reminding her when to stop pushing and taking all the abuse her little hands could give his bigger ones.
The doctor finally said the magic words, "The baby is crowning!" and Scully became even more determined to push her son into the world. Skinner leaned close beside her, occasionally rubbing his hand over her back soothingly or exhorting her to push.
The baby's first cry was deafening, demonstrating what a healthy set of lungs the kid had. Everyone in the room had tears in their eyes as the doctor gently placed the newborn on Scully's abdomen. Skinner cut the cord as Scully nervously clung to her child.
Scully looked over at Mulder, still riveted to the images on the screen. Silent tears were streaming down his face. She felt her own joyous teardrops cascade down her cheeks.
Mulder turned toward her, brightly gleaming eyes connecting with a tear-filled reflection of his own joy. He rubbed his thumb over her palm softly, lost for words. She smiled back, offering him a full, radiant smile, thirty years overdue.
*end*